—007—

I woke up quite early this morning, can’t sleep. I dunno whats bug me last nite. phone calls, yeah. another and many more.

10am. i’m in being lab assistant by now, for the old bestfriend. Hahaha. Suddenly i’m about to upload one photo of ours. Hmm.. Somehow I was getting closer to be separated from him but haven’t been until now. once i heard that friend lasts forever. don’t know. This human life is getting weirder everytime.

Well, many friends told me that i’m changed since then (since when? hehe). Well, actually i did try. I had started not giving everything or anything. Something has changed but what i hoped it doesn’t change me much. I just wanna get rid of that cold, dark and cynical side of mine. The fact is: i’m not too friendly with changes.

Maybe i’m human afterall..

i dunno why but i feel like when i’m in the deepest kind of level, i love blogging. just like now..

today’s quite hot. i’m trying to avoid the heat and the sun anywhere i could. i dunno, things just get a bit tighter lately, mentally.

sunday night was a jam. awkward? thanks. dancing all nite long. well, i did broke my promise that i make to myself: quit partying for sometimes. but i was in a jam my self. i’m stuck on my papers, got no fucking idea! so anyway, it was just one night of fun. Well, whatever happen, i lost control. bit*h!

how could i turned to a jerk? This: hectic month. it felt like world goes down on me. actually, this was my mind said to me. My life is not for me, it’s for those i’m living with. in the short words, i’m overlimit to others. then got no space for myself. i thought they knew me but they dont. sorry. hff.. but nevermind.

surely i shouldn’t blame someone or something else for what has happenned in my life. my ego has landed. please understand me: i’m out!!

very bad day i had this day..
hfff….
lord, please give me faith